“…for many of us, we are confused.”

Great opening line. Only the confused about not being confused can deny this.

“We take the misinformation we have received over a lifetime about who God is and draw our own conclusions about what He wants for us.”

Why do you think this is? Spiritual sloventry? The inability to individually process scared texts? The misguided doctrine of “Don’t you dare think for yourself?”

“We assume that because God loves us, so much so, that He died for us, and obviously wants the best for us, His job in recovery is to restore the life we want so that we will be free from addiction to live our lives as we desire.”

Isn’t this the self-centeredness that the AA Big Book says we must rid ourselves of or it will kill us? Yes, I expected a new freedom in recovery, but not to live life as *I* desired. Self-will run riot was my ruin when living in my addictions. I knew goin’ in what Step Three says, and it caused me much pause and hesitation. When I finally surrendered my life and my will (my desires) over to my Maker, did that not mean I would be free to live my life as *He* desires?

I am a volitionist. I believe God gave us free-will in the hopes we will choose to serve Him. Addiction raped me of my choices. Recovery restored them.

“When I imagine my life now that I am in recovery, I see streets of gold and the milk and honey flowing ceaselessly. What He sees, however, is a life that is content to simply know Him…free to love boldly…free to receive love boldly…restoration at its core level. We see a life that can finally live out as we imagined it. He sees a life that is not focused on here and now, but in the next life. He sees surrender, joy, and wholeness!”

I used to believe “He sees a life that is not focused on here and now, but in the next life,” but I don’t know.

“In the Sweet by and By” wasn’t good enough for me. I wanted to know where God was when I was molested as a child, and where was God NOW when I desperately needed Him.

The nature of God is omniscient. He cares about me today, right now, at this very moment, as well as the next life. If this were not true, I would not be a Christian.

“The desire to own that truck is the very same desire I have for my recovery. Life will better now than before…that I would reach the plateau where everyone would look at me, not with the disdain of an addict, but with the admiration and acceptance of a man who has beat his demons. A success…a man worthy of anything he now has because he climbed the mountain and is now at the plateau. The place where all the crap and toil of recovery have earned him a place free from the same-ole, same-ole…”

Did YOU beat your demons? Do you take credit for your recovery? What about “Submit yourselves to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you”?

Is it possible God did for you what you could not do for yourself?

Where does the sense of entitlement in “A success…a man worthy of anything he now has because he climbed the mountain and is now at the plateau” come from?

“Surely, I must have arrived…I must have this addiction licked, I am being asked to share how to do it.”

A sex addict with his addiction licked. Do you believe in the disease process of addiction?

“The only problem with that…I am an addict still.”

Why is that a problem? It’s not a problem for me today. I am an addict. A recovering addict. The knife no longer twists in my belly when I identify. What is the difference between admitting and accepting to you?

“You may never get your family back, you may never have the kind of job you once had, or you may relapse and never get free at all…are you a success then? Unless you stop reaching for a plateau and strive for your permanent home, the answer is, “no” !!!”

Back to basics. What is your definition of success in recovery? If I make it through this day without practicing my addictions, am I not a success?

What about non-contingent recovery?

I don’t understand your last sentence.

I’m still listening. What else you got?

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie